


Inappropriate

by jillyfae



Series: Incorrigible [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 10:15:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/621007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyfae/pseuds/jillyfae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard does not have an edit man.  Neither does Joker.  Sometimes this is a bad combination for everyone around them ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inappropriate

"Wow."  Joker tilted his head slightly, watching the asari dancer twist her head almost all the way down to the floor before pointing her toe towards the ceiling.  "She's bendy."  
  
Vega coughed slightly into his cerveza, because despite the fact they did it all the time, he was always rather surprised to see the pilot so obviously ogling someone in front of his, what?  Girlfriend?  Lover?   _Crazy-assed partner in crime?_  
  
"Hmm."  Ella Shepard tilted her head the other direction.  "That she is.  Good trait in a dancer."   _And now Lola's ogling the asari too.  That's... kinda hot, actually._  
  
"Should we request a private dance then?"  Joker nudged Ella with his elbow, grinning when she turned to look at him.  "For our mutual enjoyment?"  
  
Ella hummed, softly, as if she was considering it, before leaning in close to Joker.  "I don't think so.  I don't share well with others, flyboy.  You're mine."  
  
"Aw, babe, you're no fun at all."  Joker was smiling, his voice soft as they both completely ignored the fact that there was an entire table of people sitting with them.    
  
"Now, I have it on very good authority I am lots of fun."  Ella shook her head in disagreement.    
  
"Who told you a crazy story like that?"  
  
"Was it 'Rik before he tried to kill me?"  Ella leaned back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling, hidden in the dim smoky light of the club.  "Oh, wait, no."  She turned sideways to aim another grin at Joker.  "It was you."  
  
"Ah, well then.  I'm brilliant, must be true."    
  
Vega shifted uncomfortably sideways in his chair, trying to aim his face in some slightly other direction.  They were leaning together, hips and shoulders and temples, and he was pretty sure they were holding hands under the edge of the table, and yeah, they obviously didn't care about anyone else's eyes, but it still felt kinda weird to be watching.  
  
"Don't worry."  He turned his head to see Garrus offering him what he was pretty sure was his version of a wry smile, mandibles tight but not too close to his face.  "You get used to it."  
  
"No you don't."  Tali snorted softly.  "You just pretend you don't notice anymore out of self-defense."  
  
The Major chuckled softly.  "I don't know, it doesn't seem that bad.  As close to sweet as Joker ever gets, finding someone who will eye asari with him."  
  
"She is a very good dancer, even for an asari."  Traynor agreed with a bit of a smile.  
  
Liara made a displeased sort of noise in the back of her throat, but however much she might not like it, she couldn't really argue with her species' reputation.  
  
"Hey," Joker's voice was still going in the background.  "If you don't want to share, does that mean if I buy you that outfit you'll dance for me yourself?"  
  
"Well," Ella drawled the word out slowly.  "If I put on that outfit, does that guarantee my night ends with your hands or your tongue or your cock inside me?"  
  
The rest of the table was suddenly enveloped in coughs, a few muffled swear words, and Liara's violet blush.  Esteban choked, almost spitting his cerveza all over Traynor's duty-blues.  "And then they discover new depths to sink to..."  Alenko rubbed his eyebrows as if he was getting a headache.  
  
Traynor was hitting Esteban right between the shoulder blades to help the foam settle so he could stop coughing, while Tali murmured agreement with the Major's sentiment.  Being stuck almost right across from the dreadful pair at their end of the table, however, Vega could still hear every word.  
  
"Yes." Joker's voice was like something you normally only heard in prayer.  Or during an orgasm.   _Fuck.  Why did I think that?_  "Oh god, yes."  
  
"Then yes, I'll dance."   _Not that Lola's purr is any better.  Damnit._  
  
"Hell yeah."  Joker sat straight up again, lifting his arm and triggering his omni-tool.  
  
"What are you doing?"  Ella asked, amusement lightening her voice.  
  
"Shopping."  Joker lifted his head, the orange glow making his grin look even more devilish than usual.  "Though.  In the interests of full disclosure I should admit that getting inside you is pretty much always my goal, dancing outfit or not."  
  
"Figured that out already.  Why do you think I said yes?"  
  
"Because you are the galaxy's most perfect woman?"  
  
"And don't you forget it."  
  
"Never."  
  
And then they were kissing, and really there was way the hell too much tongue, but it had the benefit of stopping them from talking anymore.    
  
Until Joker's 'tool beeped softly, and they pulled apart.    
  
Vega discovered it was possible to feel even more uncomfortable when they paused, lips just barely not touching, noses angled next to each other as their eyes slowly opened and they just looked at each other, and that sort of naked emotion was not the sort of thing he ever really saw, or anyone he knew ever really let out in public, except, apparently, for these two.  Who were completely shameless.  
  
Not that there was anything shameful about being in love, but he could really do with a little less detail on their sex life.  
  
"Guess what?"  Joker's voice was a rough whisper, and Vega was pretty sure Ella was the only one who was supposed to be hearing him.  "Found one."  
  
"Already?"  
  
Whatever he said after that was finally soft enough Vega couldn't accidentally eavesdrop, but it made Lola laugh, and then they were leaving, amused good-byes, hands clasped and somehow in step despite her longer stride.  
  
Presumably to do the things they'd just been talking about...  
  
"Spirits, I need a drink," Garrus half groaned, half laughed.  
  
Vega looked up from his depressingly empty cerveza to see similarly stunned expressions all around the table.    
  
"I'm pretty sure you're speaking for all of us there, Vakarian," Vega agreed, lifting his hand to wave at the closest waitress.  "Two more rounds at once sounds about right to me."


End file.
